The Ol' Switcheroo
by scuderia tifosi
Summary: After another failed attempt to take the deed of the Mystery Shack, Gideon makes a bet with Stan to see who can do it better. A parody of SpongeBob SquarePants' Spy Buddies. Set before Boyz Crazy.
**This is my first full-length fanfic. Before that, I did oneshots. Two of these happened to be GF parodies. (Carl pukes a rainbow for Special Unit 2 and Twas Not But A Dream for Pac Man and the Ghostly Adventures)**

 **All rights belong to their respective owners.**

It was an unusually cold summer afternoon, for an already unusual place like Gravity Falls, Oregon. It was also an unusually slow day at the Mystery Shack. What was even more unusual was that a shadow resembling Gideon's was seen in Stan's office, gaining access to a safe by entering a code. The light in the office was then turned on by another person, revealing the shadow to be Stan.

"What are you doing, Grunkle Stan?" asked Dipper, who was the one who turned on the light.

"Just making sure the deed is safe." Stan then took out his calendar and pointed to a date. "Gideon hadn't tried taking it in over a week. He must be planning something big."

"Hello." greeted Wendy to Dipper as she walked in.

Stan continued, "One of you will have to volunteer for some extra work."

Wendy then turned around and walked out. "'bye".

Stan then turned to Dipper and asked, "I was just gonna ask if someone can observe Gideon."

"You mean, as in spy?" Dipper then imagined walking right into the view of a sniper's scope, like James Bond, before he was interrupted by Mabel's voice.

"Hey, Dipper, I can see you through this straw." Exclaimed the other twin, who was wearing a pink llama sweater and looking through a drinking straw.

"Mabel, I'm gonna be a spy." he replied, almost whispering.

"You're a spy?!" she exclaimed, "I wanna be a spy, too!" her loud voice causing tremors which can be felt outside the shack and crows fly off.

Stan then looked around before whispering to Mabel. "Shh! Okay, okay! You can be a spy. Just be quiet."

"Yay, we're spy buddies!" said the twins in unison, before realizing the clandestine nature of the mission and they whispered, "Spy buddies."

Stan then passed a tape to Dipper. "Your instructions are in this tape. But remember, the fate of the Mystery Shack lies in your hands. Take Soos if you have to." he said as he brought out the repair guy.

"In my hands..." he said to himself, as Mabel looked at them. "Ooh..." she said. Soos then grabs Dipper's hand and looked at it. "Ooh..."

* * *

Later, the three were in Soos' room. He was holding a portable tape player and he pressed the play button. A recording of Stan's voice was heard saying, "Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to discover what Gideon's up to. Don't let him out of your sight. You'll need to rustle up some spy gadgets. This tape will self-destruct in ten seconds." The three panic as Soos hastily ejected the tape and they tossed it to one another. "Get rid of it! Get rid of it, Soos!" shouted Dipper as he tossed the tape to Soos. He put it in his pants as the twins ducked and covered their ears. The tape explodes, leaving Soos' lower body a skeletal frame. Thw wallpapers were blackened and started peeling off.

"That's gonna leave a mark." said Soos as he pulled up his pants.

Later, the three were at the junkyard. Soos' lower body somehow inexplicably regenerated. They were meeting Old Man McGucket.

"What ya'll be doing?" he asked Dipper.

"Do you know anything about spying?"

"Well, I know you need a lot of crazy gadgets like, jet-packs, laser-equipped bermuda shorts with walkie-talkies..." he rummaged through the trunk of a 1970s Beetle.

"10-4, good buddy." said a male voice on the walkie-talkie, and there was static noise.

"...cameras that fit up your nose, high-powered magnifying glass, and my favorite, the knockout ray." He took out a laser-gun and tried it on the trio, which caused them to doze off, while still standing. He shoots them again, waking them up.

"Wow, Soos, with these gadgets, we'll be great spies." said Mabel.

"I wouldn't trust you with any of this stuff." said McGucket, and he did his jig.

"What do we do now, Soos?" whispered Mabel as Dipper picked out the knockout ray and then shot McGucket with it, and he dozed off while still standing up. Mabel and Soos laughed.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Dipper and Soos were at the side of a building, observing Gideon, who had just left the laundromat with his dry cleaning, a suit that was exactly like the one he was wearing. Dipper and Soos had changed into western styled clothes exactly like the ones they wore while in the pinball machine, so that Gideon wouldn't recognize them.

"What's he doing now?" Soos asked Dipper.

"Nothing yet. Wait! Wait! He's..." Dipper saw Gideon entering a clothing store. "...buying clothes? We gotta get closer."

Gideon entered the store and asked the first salesperson he saw. "Excuse me," he said with his most charming southern drawl. "Do you have anything in this size?" He then produced his drycleaning. "Sorry, that's as small as they come." Gideon then uncharacteristically walked away. Dipper then emerged from a set of clothes hung on a nearby wall. "Wow, he has to buy midget clothes?"

"How embarrassing..." added Soos, as he emerged from an adjacent outfit.

After leaving the store, Dipper then spoke into a walkie-talkie. "Dipper to Stan. Come in Stan."

"Stan here. Go ahead."

"Gideon just bought some clothes."

"Clothes? Hmmm..." Stan wrote "Clothes" on a chalkboard. "What's he doing now?"

"Hold on," Dipper looked through another store window. "He's buying..."

"Yeah? Yeah?"

"A... stamp."

 _A stamp._ Stan wrote on the chalkboard. "This is the most elaborate scheme ever. Keep on him, Goober."

Dipper and Soos then tip-toed behind Gideon. "We're right behind him and he has no idea." whispered Soos. However, from Gideon's angle, the tip-toes were thunderous steps. He turned around. "Would you stop making all that racket?"

* * *

Later, Dipper and Soos were on a fire-escape balcony, watching Gideon. Dipper had changed into another set of western styled clothes, like the one he would be depicted wearing in a Choose Your own Adventure novel, while Soos had reverted to his normal clothes. "What's he doing now?" asked Soos. "I can't tell." said Dipper as he shone the high-powered magnifying glass onto Gideon. The sun's rays then concentrated on the child psychic. "Whew! Gosh, it's hot." He suddenly caught fire and ran screaming.

"He's getting away! Quick, use the jet pack!"

"Can do!" Soos then started the jet-pack and grabbed Dipper, who somehow reverted to his normal clothes, as they flew towards Gideon, who managed to put out the flames by jumping into a life-sized paper cup with water in it. "Whew..." said Gideon as he crawled out of the cup, dripping wet. He then turned around and saw Dipper and Soos flying towards him at high speed. He screamed and ran in panic as they flew over him, the afterburners of the jet-pack setting him and the cup on fire. The jetpack carried Dipper and Soos through several buildings until it ran out of fuel. Dipper and Soos then landed on the sidewalk and skidded, in a prone position, for a considerable distance until their front halves were completely worn down. The two miraculously got up, revealing their front halves to have been filed down like an old shoe.

"We've lost Gideon!" said Dipper in a muffled voice, for his facial features were gone. It was amazing he could still see and breathe. "To the spy mobile!" Soos said in a similarly muffled voice. They headed towards his truck, which McGucket retrofitted. They both hop into the truck, with their bodies and clothes restored. Dipper pored over the dashboard. "Hmmm... mines, oil slick, smoke screen, shield..." "Self destruct!" exclaimed Soos as he pressed a big red button. The truck exploded, but both are surprisingly unscathed. Soos' pants started ringing. "There's a call coming through on my Pants-A-Phone."

"Stan to Dipper. Come in Dipper."

"It's for you."

"Dipper here."

"You found out what Gideon's up to?"

"I'm afraid we've lost him."

"Well, find him, kid. I'm not paying you to goof off with Soos."

"You're not paying me at all."

"Exactly. So get to work." and he hung up. A recording of a female operator's voice started playing. "If you'd like to make a call, please deposit 25 cents." Dipper then produced a quarter.

* * *

That night, outside the Tent Of Telepathy, the two, and Mabel were figuring out a way to get in unnoticed. "OK, Soos were in position." said Dipper. "I think the tent's open." "Spies don't use the front door. We've got to figure out a complicated way to get inside." added Mabel. She then used her grappling hook and aimed at the pentagram on the tent. "GRAPPLING HOOK!" She exclaimed as she fired the weapon. The guys hung onto her and she swung them onto the tent. "Looks like a job for Laser Pants!" said Soos as he grunted a laser from his behind and cuts out a square on the tent's roof. "Good work, Soos! Now its my turn." said Dipper and he was winched down to the inside. He lowers himself but fell onto the floor. "I thought you were holding the rope." He told Soos. The repair goy then landed on him, holding his end of the winch as Mabel gracefully lowered herself with her grappling hook. "I am. You need to be quiet. We're on a secret mission."

Then Deuce, Gideon's stagehand, turned on the lights and said, "Secret mission, eh?" Dipper and Soos screamed and held each other. "Don't you think I know what you're up to? You want to watch a show at the Tent Of Telepathy, without your boss knowing." Later, the three were seated on the front row, where Deuce gives them each a copy of the night's itenernary. "I'll let you look over the itenernary." said Deuce and he left to get some merchandise.

Soos felt very uncomfortable and nervously whispers to Dipper. "I have to go."

"Can't you go later?"

"My laser pants aren't working right." and it fired a laser, which disintegrated a bench on the row behind them. Deuce then returned with some merchandise. "Could I interest you in a Gideon doll?"

"No, thank you."

"Or perhaps a Gideon T-shirt?"

Soos whispered to Dipper again. "Dude, I really have to go!"

"Gideon flag?" Deuce then noticed Soos' pants vibrate. "What the...?" Then Soos' pants started firing lasers, punching holes in the tent and obliberating it. The floor opened up, revealing a secret hatch with a blimp in it. Deuce, Dipper, Mabel and Soos then fell on it. Gideon was piloting the blimp from the inside. "Destroy my tent, will ya, Pines? If it's war you want, it's war you'll get!"

* * *

The blimp then flew over to the Mystery Shack, casting a huge shadow over it and darkening the inside. "I think I put off cataract surgery for too long." said Stan who noticed the fading light. "Nope, it's a blimp." Wendy replied. Stan then sounded the alarm and shouted, "Man your battle stations!" "I'm on it!" and Wendy ran into the bathroom and flushed a toilet.

Stan then climbed up the access ladder to the shack's roof and waved his fist at the blimp. "Bring it on, Gideon!" "Oh, I will. We'll see if you have any customers left after I pump up the volume." A blowhorn then emerged from the underside of the blimp and blasted loud elevator music. The customers started to leave while covering their ears. "Oh, brother, I hated the real version of this song." said Nate.

"He's driving my customers away! All right, Gideon, you want my customers so bad?" Stan pressed a button, which revealed a giant vacuum and sucked up all the customers. "You can have 'em!" shouted Stan as he loaded the customers on an air cannon. He aimed at the blimp and fired the customers at it. They, however, bounced off the blimp.

"Do your worst, Stanford." said Gideon as Deuce entered the control room. Wendy then landed on the blimp after being launched. "I hate my job." She then slid down. Dipper, who was watching from the top of the blimp, said to Soos. "It's up to you and me." "Abandon ship!" shouted Soos as he jumped off right into the cannon. Stan then launched him towards the blimp.

"Pointy-headed projectile on the port side!" shouted Deuce to Gideon as Soos head punched a hole on the blimp, causing it to fly around in circles as air gushed out of the hole. Stan laughed, but he gasped as soon as the blimp, which had caught fire, came hurtling towards the shack. It crashed and destroyed everything.

Somehow, everyone survived the disaster. Gideon then crawled up the sign of the Mystery Shack with the deed in his hand. He proclaimed, "I win! I always win!" and laughed evilly.

Soos then pointed out, "Not to rain on your parade or anything, but you always lose."

"No, Soos, I always..." Gideon then rips off his head mask to reveal himself to be... Stan! "...win!"

Dipper gasped, "Grunkle Stan?"

Stan then got off the sign and ripped off the bodysuit. "That's right! I took my own deed!"

"But if you're Stan, then who's..." the "other" Stan then rips off its suit to reveal a scale version of the Gideon-bot that was being built. "A Gideon robot?" The hatch in its chest opened up to reveal Gideon at the controls.

"Gideon? What is going on here?"

"You see," explained Stan. "We had a bet. Gideon's been trying to take my deed for some time, and he's never done it!"

"I almost had it 37 times, and you know it!"

Stan then produced a rabbit's foot. "Tell it to the paw, sister! Last time he failed, we made a bet." Stan then recalled a memory where he was laughing while Gideon was pounding his fists on the ground and throwing a fit.

 _"You can't beat me, Gideon. I always win!"_

 _Gideon looked up. "You've got the easy part. I'd like to see you do my job."_

 _"Oh, yeah right. If I was you, I could take the deed on my first try."_

 _"The usual wager?"_

 _"You're on."_

"So, through a series of events far too elaborate to go into right now, we flawlessly assumed each other's lives; and I beat Gideon at his own game." He then pointed at where the Tent Of Telepathy used to stand. "And destroyed his place of business!" He beckoned to Gideon. "Now pay up."

The child psychic reluctantly parted with his cash. "Here you go, Stanford, Twenty dollars."

"Not so fast!" exclaimed Soos, who took off his bodysuit to reveal... McGucket!

"Old Man McGucket?" asked Dipper. "Then who are you?"

"I'm not-" Dipper ripped his beard off, revealing a hair-free chin. "-wearing a disguise." McGucket then tried to put his beard back on as he walked away.

"If he's Old Man McGucket, then you must be..." the fake McGucket ripped off his bodysuit to reveal... Wendy! "Whoops, wrong outfit." She ripped off her bodysuit to reveal another Mabel.

"You're me! Then I must be..." She ripped off her suit to reveal Soos. "Soos!"

"Nah, I'm just kidding." said "Mabel", who took off "her" suit to reveal "another" Soos. "I really am Soos."

The "other" Soos rips off his suit to reveal Mabel again. "Good one." They both laugh. "There's just one thing I don't understand." said Dipper.

Stan asked, "What's that?"

"That." Dipper then pointed to two Soos laughing while standing beside each other.

 **The reason why Stan seemed out of character at the beginning was that he was actually Gideon in disguise. Similiarly, Gideon was out of character on the streets because he was actually Stan!**

 **Read and review!**


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